So, the problem with achieving long-term goals and
fulfilling ambitions is actually doing things. We spend our time reading,
watching and absorbing knowledge via wide variety of means. But we don’t put
those into practice. Often there is that feeling, which verbalized would sound
something like this “I’ll do it once I’m ready” or “I’d do it, if I had more
time, experience, confidence”. These
seem like plausible reasons. BUT… doesn't it feel like being a little bit
stuck?
What is happening in this process is that we reflect on
ourselves without getting any insight, thus being unable to answer the obvious
questions: How do I know when I am ready?;
When will I have time?; How do I get the experience?;How do I feel when I am confident (enough)?
Self-reflection is known to be negatively correlated with goal-directed behavior
(Grant et al., 2002). It means that when we feel stuck in a process of
goal-attainment, the reason behind is probably ourselves trying too much to
understand our personal behavior or emotional reactions instead of moving towards the goal.
Let’s make some space for a bit of honesty right here. We
don’t ask such questions often. Hence, the purpose of this post is to remind
all of us to start doing this. This is called self-regulation and is often
implemented in a form of a self-regulatory cycle.
The practical reason for asking questions in a specific
manner is to give ourselves reference points. Otherwise, short-term goals,
which are more attainable and will give results quickly. We don’t like and often
don’t care about long-term outcomes of our actions, like higher education or
pension schemes. Sadly, it is no different with our personal goals and dreams. This
all happens because we are all victims of discounting, meaning we are impatient
and inconsistent. Many choices involve results that will be visible at
different times. We make different decisions for now and for the future. For example,
in a study by Read and Van Leeuwen (1998))people were asked
what would they choose for the future snack, a bowl of fruit salad or chocolate?
Majority chose fruit salad. It’s an understandable choice since for majority of
us health is a very important aspect of our lives. However, when those same
people were asked to choose a snack for now, most of them made the opposite
choice.
This study illustrates very well the core point of this post, which is that it’s
just easy to forget the big goals on a daily basis and that only doing things
regularly works.
Now, let this be imprinted in our minds: There is no the
best time for doing things. There is no the best form of ourselves other than
now. This is not negotiable. Life is not stable and doesn't look like a fucking
timetable where we put things in little squares with dates and say “Hey, here’s
the time I will have finished my worrying” or “There’s the time I will have got
all the problems off my shoulders and I can start making my dreams come true”.
NO, nothing more incorrect. The best time for doing things is now.
Now let me tell you something less obvious. Making mistakes is obligatory.
In big organizations things happen rapidly. You need to be prepared for anything
in a fast-paced environment and erroneous behavior is unavoidable at times.
What a couple of studies discovered, is that making errors is also very beneficial for the
learning process. In 1991 Frese and colleagues compared a group instructed to avoid errors in learning with another given more difficult
problems along with a guidance on managing errors. This study was replicated later
by Gully et al. (2002), who gave their participants a decision-making task
assigned to a control, error encouragement and error avoidance groups. In both
studies people who were encouraged to make errors learned the most, as
indicated on the tests of declarative knowledge and task performance.
The training – job environment situation can serve as a
direct analogy for the experiencing – life situation. We typically avoid being
imperfect on a daily basis, but because errors often occur in life, there is a
certain value in experiencing different aspects of it both strategically and on
emotional level.
Without making the time for yourself, getting down to
experiencing, learning, making errors and applying the knowledge and…. Take a deeeep
breath!...Experiencing, learning, making errors, applying the knowledge, none
of us will stop thinking, worrying and over-analyzing ourselves.
If you want to be a runner, start running, a mile a day, two miles. Whatever.
You don’t have to run a marathon straight away and you also shouldn't do
nothing because you’re not ready yet to run the marathon.
Let’s for example take myself. I've always wanted to be a great writer, but had
been telling myself it wasn't the right time, I had no time. For long years I
ended up doing nothing. Hence, I am writing this post now, fully aware that it’s
not perfect, but still putting it out there. This is my time, my experience and
the first reference point. If you enjoyed it and wish to read more about interesting
facts of human nature, let me know in the comments section below or simply like
this post J
I’m looking forward to your feedback guys!
Don’t think too much, stay active!
Lina
